Cool

Dictionary.com defines it as moderately cold; neither warm nor cold see also "Cool". Yeah.
 
So whatever. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cool

I am going to rant now, so leave if you don't like it. I just need to clarify that I (currently) have a job where cool is a completely alien concept, beyond the odd reference to it in describing the level of air temperature and the occasional malfunctioning air con in the building. I mean yes some people here are cool but the sense of cool as a state of being is pretty thin, on the ground. Round here. Punctuation is for suckers.

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I am well educated. I like to ignore this training. For Fun.

My point is really w/r/t my art. It is to some people cool and to others not. It is definaitely a bit too uncool for some and not slick enough. It doesn't ooze commercial viabilty. It is challenging. Challenge Anneka. I am also a bit challenging. I am not sure if this concerns me. Probably it does a bit. But in my defence I can do cool stuff - I just don't want to all the time I am not a monkey and I don't yet have the time to immerse myself even if I were - given that I squeeze in a few hours here and a few hours there usually at the cost of my sleep or other necessary activities like downtime (relaxing not miserification) or socialising.

I like to experiment, try new things, see if I can capture something of the range of things I experience. Rather than just MTV or Nickelodian I am spanning the truck stop burger van pirate radio sound right through to the digital arts meets student improv. band  (we don't exist) at Warwick University. Or maybe the stained glass window boutique on the border of Wales where they (Tim and Merry) sell leaded glass and tell your fortune for free. I have a don't fence me in artisitc disposition. I find my personal comfort vis a vis artistic free range more important that having an identity that makes random people I don't know want to ride on the back of me (though strangely some people actually do). I love when other people's work is impressive [consistent]and  beautiful and I want to be seen with it. (So why I don't want to or seem to try to or be able to emulate this kind of awesome I don't know) maybe I am just an impulsive explorer of ideas, [Vagrant], anthropological/natural history researcher and seeker of general random. I don't really know or care right now. I just feel a bit defensive and thought I would spar with an imaginary critic - for #more fun#.

See where I am going with this?

I am not animating to compete with work I admire. I couldn't and wouldn't. I am not pretending I think my work is any good. It is the equivalent of my mumbles, my response to living. To being here and dealing with it sometimes exploding with the sheer joy of it. Sometimes becoming very small with it. I am forming my first (animation) words so I am bound to sound like a [insert non PC derrogative word here]. So don't treat me like [whatever :undefined: complaint]. That makes you disingenuous and ungenerous if you do. YEAH. I am literally taking my first steps. If you think it makes you clever to come and push me over when taking my very first steps then feel good like an adult might feel good pushing over a toddler for fun. IF YOU MIS READ THINGS THAT ARE NOT INTENDED FOR YOU AND TAKE IT PERSONAL THAT TOO IS UNFORTUNATE AND WE ALL MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AS WE ARE ALL HUMAN. [Where did that shouty voice come from? Never mind]

Self promotion is like school discipline. The fact that I am meant to do it means I really don't want to. Always was the one oblivious to the 'programme'. Who wants a 'programme' anyway, that is for people in special units who have to adhere to for reasons unknown but most likely relating to overly cool/empassioned [delete as appropriate] but certainly misguided behaviours. Somehow they made me head girl. They thought me the one to set an example. [Comment]. Maybe I am just not the type to follow and people don't like that. That means I either lead or am in obscurity, but I cannot be in the morass. Even if I wanted to be - which just to be clear I do not. (Gets that way when you don't have a choice doesn't it).

I am always having to say less than. The internet is a free space. Thus I will say more than. Explore the me that was always shut off cut off shut down closed inappropriate nonsequitur. I am not the only one. We are all free you know, the law is only relevant ex post. If that is how you want to play it.