Rebecca Teall

there was a very nice photograph of him on the front of the Times Magazine on 23 Feb and I liked the 60s chair they'd put him in. I haven't been able to draw much lately and it was nice to actually draw instead of think for a few minutes. I'd quite like to paint the good one, (top left), though I like the hand very much too. owd you like the melted cheese one? I noticed (when a friend mentioned it) yesterday that the top left one is quite like the modigliani i painted last year. He has a good face, and an air of quiet dignity. Not bad at football too.

I drew a detail from a painting by Portuguese based British Artist Paul Waplington

I listened to an hour or three of Frederick Delius and drew some Deliuses.

Its the sound of an approaching era. I like his music very much its so expressive and thoughtful and emotional yet restrained, in short its very modern! Delius was born 1862 and died 1934.

I only just read the first chapter of wikipedia which reads as follows:

..was an English composer. Born in the north of England to a prosperous mercantile family, he resisted attempts to recruit him to commerce. He was sent to Florida in the United States in 1884, to manage an orange plantation; there he soon neglected his managerial duties, and in 1886 returned to Europe. Having been influenced by African-American music during his short stay in Florida, he began composing. After a brief period of formal musical study in Germany beginning in 1886, he embarked on a full-time career as a composer in Paris and then in nearby Grez-sur-Loing, where he and his wife Jelka lived for the rest of their lives, except during the First World War.

Delius one is my favourite Delius. He came out upsidedown with pleasure in the first hour and I was surprised and amused at him when I looked at him for the first time the right way up. He doesn't look very much like the Delius who composed the music though he was an observational drawing of him just upside down. Hes sort of chunkier. more Depardieu who I also love. I say Love. Well now I love Delius' music. I knew I liked him but I just studied his kind eyes and his expressive nose and lips and his embarrassed hair. I have embarrassed hair too. But he's really trying to communicate with his eyes and I like him very much. But his music. Wow. You should just listen to a few of his pieces. When I then read that he'd been born Fritz (Dutch ancestry) and born Brtish grew up then went to Florida, to run a family plantation but didn't like it (it must have been an interesting time only 20 years after the abolotion of slavery I imagine it was distressing and exciting time to be a manager on a plantation: he did however very much like the African American music! Then he lived in France with his wife. Maybe that's why his music is so modern, an early advocate of cultural exchange! A sensitive face and sensitive music. I didn't quite catch it but I enjoyed trying.

Delius Five was where I stopped. I thought he was sufficient. I was getting from A to B and Delius Five is B. He's the most socially acceptable Delius. He's Delius after he's had a bath and a shave and some freshly laundered clothes and a comb through his hair and a few practice smiles held for some time. But being a concentrated fellow I can assume because composition takes a sort of concentrated serentity he probably didn't find it too hard to stare at the camera with emotion and sincerity for a good three minutes and so the photograph of the real Delius that my Deliuses One through Five are inspired by has captured his unusually sensitive and concentrated yet serence countennance. Anyway despite being my most acceptable Delius two hours of contemplating my life while drawing a postcard later, he's still pretty weird if you look closely. But that is just between Delius Five and me.

Post script

I just read he liked Niesche and was a pupil of Wagner... that 's what it is. Strange though that he was sensitive to and receptive to Africa American music very early, he also took and digested the work and ideas of creatives that have since been appropriated by the opposite end of the political spectrum. He died in 1934 before the outbreak of WW2 but he will have seen the rise of fascism following the horror of WW1.

I listened to the play list linked above but the first one I didn't like was Romeo and Juliet c1910, it reminded me of the Fall of Paradise it is dark and foreboding - so perhaps he could see what lay ahead or perhaps it was just a reflection of the climate at the time.

Anyway: postcards.

I love the art of Quentin Blake, always did always will. Did you know he paints as well?
I did this after supper one night. I have been not drawing enough, walking through artless deserts of tension and dismay and am slowly climbing that hill again. Its such a hungry place that it feels like I will eat anything and try not to worry what it tastes like so I hope you won't either. Whoever you are.

Theres a time and a place for everything and everyone.

I was wondering if Quentin Tarantino listens to the music he's going to use as he's filming or if the music adds depth to his vision once he has collected all the parts.. I expect its a bit of both.

Its like the violence in his films, seems to me that it is not about endorsing violence it is about absolutism, taking back or stealing depending on the context. The good or ill of it resting in the meaning of the action in that moment (much like all our actions). He speaks to me of a distain for tepidity. His characters do not have time for the half assed or the luke warm. He doesn't promote drug taking or violence or glamour but he uses it and uses it as part of the picture, but he gives equal weight to the dorky, the kitsch, the fugly, the awkward and the sweet. He lets his charaters have dignity in spite of their circumstances, not due to them.

And smoking a pipe... is all about what you put in it (the meaning). Not the  habit or the lifestyle or the rejection or acceptance of a law or a culture or ones self: its a way of transcending or refilling, a window. I know from experiemce. But right now I'm on another planet. I could go back there and I'd like to, but right now I can't.

Here's hoping she gets As in her Physics and Further Maths A levels now she's not smoking (or at least not haunting the smoking spot daily I found her and her friends in). This was her face as I told her about a girl I once knew.

Dont overload the system.

Wimbledon was really intense for me this year, I mean I really watched it, more so than in other years. I sort of took time away from the house (that's swallowed me), and just watched and listened.. I haven't drawn for ages, but managed to sketch Gael Monfils during his last match but I have been a particularly harsh self judge lately and its been stopping me drawing. So I've knocked that particular unhelpful mode on the head and seem to be back on the horse, the drawing horse (long may it last).

I didn't like this sketch until now, and didn't post it, I was disappointed in it, but somehow I like it now. Its colourful and fuzzy, like my brain. I think one of these years he's going to get that trophy. I remember a few years back they said he was on the circuit living in a caravan! Man. And wow we have no idea how hard these people work and how much they sacrifice for their passion.
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I have a lot of respect for tennis players amongst other professions. Most things worth doing take a lot of determination, perseverance and passion. We usually only ever see the results of excellence not the work that went in to achieving it. So here's to the 10,000 hours. Don't give up he says, keep going.